Sunday, March 4, 2007

FATIMA

From: M Byrnes Subject: Fw: Fatima- the original one!

Please keep this going.....Her journey begins today

Today begins the Novena of the Apparition of the

Virgin ofFatima : When you receive the email,

say a Hail Mary and also ask for a special favor:

"Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the

fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners,

now and at the hour of our death. Amen (your request)

Please do not break the Novena - send it to 12 people.

The TRUTH will set you FREE.

Saturday, March 3, 2007

LOL: LAUGH OUT LOUD 9/21/2011

From: Jose Victoria
Date: 2011/9/24

GANDA BUHOK

STUDENT: "Sir, kamusta po ang grade ko?"

TEACHER: "Aba iha, kasing ganda ng buhok mo."

STUDENT: "Talaga po? Wow naman!!"

TEACHER: "Oo..parang bagong rebond...BAGSAK NA BAGSAK!!" ~X( at wits' end

KALAHI NI MICKEY MOUSE

ANAK: "Tay may daga duon sa kusina!"

TATAY: "Paalisin mo!!"

ANAK: "Oy daga! Umalis ka dyan!!"

TATAY: "Tanga!! Gulatin mo!!"

ANAK: "Daga...BULAGA!!"

TATAY: "Tanga! Takutin mo!!"

ANAK: "Oh daga...aswang ako...whoooohhh"

TATAY: "Gago!! Bugawin mo!!"

ANAK: "Boss Daga...P50 lang, batang-bata pa!" ^#(^ it wasn't me

CLEANLINESS AND GADLINESS

BAKLA: "Hoy! Babae bakit ka naghuhugas sa holy water?"

GIRL: "May kasalanan ang mga kamay ko...nahawakan ko

ang ari ng BF ko."

BAKLA: "Ganun? Tabi dyan...magmumumog ako!!" >:) devil

ASIAN MARTIAL ARTS

Kung ang China ay may KUNG FU, Ang Japan ay may KARATE.

At sa Korea naman ay may TAEKWONDO, anong matitira para sa Pilipinas?

Tayo ay mayroong,

SAPAKAN, BATUKAN, HAMPASAN, HARUTAN, BANGASAN,

PITIKAN, SIKUHAN, SAMPALAN, BANATAN, SAKSAKAN, SUNTUKAN, SABUNUTAN,

KALMUTAN, TADYAKAN, SIPAAN, TUHURAN, DIBDIBAN, KAGATAN, DURAAN,

BARILAN...at ang pinakamatindi sa lahat....PATAYAN!!! :-& sick

ATTENDANCE

LOLO: "Naku apo, magtago ka dyan sa ilalim ng mesa, padating yung teacher mo...di ba nag absent ka?"

APO: "Naku...ikaw din Lo...magtago kayo sa ilalim ng lamesa."

LOLO: "At bakit naman ako magtatago?"

APO: "Kasi sabi ko aabsent ako ngayon dahil namatay ang lolo ko." :D big grin

HEIGHT OF PASSION

Dalawang unano ang nag good time sa Bocaue. They are having the time of their lives

at the Beer Garden. They capped the fun with "compassion" for the night. Kumuha sila

ng magkatabing kwarto sa isang motel. Yung isa disappointed dahil hindi siya tigasan...kahit

na anong concentrate ang gawin niya ay wala parin. Lalong lumaki ang disappointment niya

dahil sa naririnig sa kabilang kuarto na bumibilang......ISA....DALAWA.....TATLO....UMMMMPPP...sa

buong magdamag.

Kinabukasan sa kanilang paguusap. "Disappointed ako dahil kahit na anong gawin ko...di ako tigasan."

"Eh di mas lalo na ako, NI HINDI AKO MAKASAMPA SA KAMA." ~X( at wits' end

VICE-PRESIDENT PACQUIAO

INTERVIEWER: "Ano ang plano nyo sa mga homeless?"

PACMAN: "Marami...kasi may problema."

INTERVIEWER: "Ano pong problema?"

PACMAN: "Ang hirap silang hanapin...kasi wala silang address." >:P phbbbbt

--
Antonio L. Buensuceso Jr.

Friday, March 2, 2007

Atinatin lang 'to

From: timbaylen <timbaylen@aol.com>

Date: Sat, Sep 17, 2011 at 6:45 PM

Kaya raw di umasenso ang Pilipinas ay di tayo positive tulad ng U.S.A.

Ang tawag sa kanila AmeriCAN, hindi AmeriCAN'T.
Dapat tayo "FilipiYES", di FilipiNO.
.................

An idea can change your life, but a woman can change you idea....
So, the conclusion: always change your woman to have new ideas!
................

When a woman stops having her periods, we call that MENOPAUSE.
When a man starts using Viagra, we call that KINAPAUSE!
................

A hotel guest called room service, "I want a breakfast of two eggs burned &
black around the edges, undercooked bacon, weak coffee, watery orange juice,
and cold, hard, unbuttered toast."

The room service clerk asked, "Why in the world would you want a terrible
breakfast like that?"

'I am HOMESICK!" the guest replied.
..............

Pretty Girl: How much for a tatoo of animal just above my knee?

Tatoo Artist: P1,000 for tiger, rabbit and lion. Free if it's a GIRAFFEE!
.............

Ano sa Hawaii ang umiiyak?

A LUHA!

Ano naman sa Hawaiian ang caesarean?

TAHI TIAN!

Ano naman ang tawag sa bakla?

WAI KIKI!
................

A man is recovering from surgery when the nurse appears and asked him
how he's feeling.

"I'm OK, but I didn't like the four-lettter word the surgeon used
during my surgery."

"What did he say?" asked the nurse.

"Oops!"
..............

Mrs. Tanoy is so kuripot. When her husband died, he called the
newspaper and inquired about the price of an obituary.

Paper : P500 for 5 words.

Mrs. : Pwede ba 2 words lang, TANOY DEAD?

Paper : Di pwede. 5 words minimum.

Mrs. : O, sige TANOY DEAD. CAMRY FOR SALE .
..............

Juan : Kung ako sa iyo ma'am, papalitan ninyo grade ko.

Teacher : At bakit?

Juan : Sabi ng tatay ko, pag nag uwi pa ako ng may bagsak, may BUBUGBUGIN siya!
................

Anak : Itay, ano po ang ibig sabihin ng "climate change"?

Itay : Ha? Tinay, ano raw ang "climate change"?

Tinay: Ang panlalamig mo sa akin ay dahil may pinag-iinitan ka nang
iba. Iyan ang "climate change!"
..............

Stages of Life:
0 - 5 years we experience many SPILLS

6 -16 years we experience many DRILLS

17-25 years we discover many THRILLS

26-40 years we have many BILLS

41-60 years we suffer many ILLS

61-75 years we take many PILLS

76 & above we worry about our WILLS.
..............

INDIAN BOY (asking Big Chief) : Father, why do we have long names,
while white men have short names like TOM, BILL or SAM?

BIG CHIEF: My son, our names represent a symbol in our culture. White
men merely repeats names
from generation to generation. Your sister's name is SMALL ROMANTIC
MOON OVER THE
LAKE coz there was a beautiful moon over the lake when she was born.

Your brother WHITE HORSE OF THE PRAIRIES was born when a white horse
galloped over the prairies. It's easy to understand.

Do you have any question LITTLE BROKEN CONDOM MADE IN CHINA ?
..............

Sa muli. Ciao...

Thursday, March 1, 2007

Trillanes files bill seeking up to 80% windfall profit tax on oil firms

Trillanes files bill seeking up to 80% windfall profit tax on oil firms

The TRUTH will set you FREE.

Monday, February 12, 2007

REJOINDER_SHELL 12

The TRUTH will set you FREE.

Sunday, February 4, 2007

MEET ME IN THE STAIRWELL

FROM: Alfred Clayton

'MEET ME IN THE STAIRWELL'

You say you will never forget where you were when
you heard the news On September 11, 2001.
Neither will I.

I was on the 110th floor in a smoke filled room
with a man who called his wife to say 'Good-Bye.' I
held his fingers steady as he dialed. I gave him the
peace to say, 'Honey, I am not going to make it, but it
is OK..I am ready to go.'

I was with his wife when he called as she fed
breakfast to their children. I held her up as she
tried to understand his words and as she realized
he wasn't coming home that night.

I was in the stairwell of the 23rd floor when a
woman cried out to Me for help. 'I have been
knocking on the door of your heart for 50 years!' I said.
'Of course I will show you the way home - only
believe in Me now.'

I was at the base of the building with the Priest
ministering to the injured and devastated souls.
I took him home to tend to his Flock in Heaven. He
heard my voice and answered.

I was on all four of those planes, in every seat,
with every prayer. I was with the crew as they
were overtaken. I was in the very hearts of the
believers there, comforting and assuring them that their
faith has saved them.

I was in Texas , Virginia , California , Michigan , Afghanistan .
I was standing next to you when you heard the terrible news.
Did you sense Me?

I want you to know that I saw every face. I knew
every name - though not all knew Me. Some met Me
for the first time on the 86th floor.

Some sought Me with their last breath.
Some couldn't hear Me calling to them through the
smoke and flames; 'Come to Me... this way... take
my hand.' Some chose, for the final time, to ignore Me.
But, I was there.

I did not place you in the Tower that day. You
may not know why, but I do. However, if you were
there in that explosive moment in time, would you have
reached for Me?

Sept. 11, 2001, was not the end of the journey
for you. But someday your journey will end. And I
will be there for you as well. Seek Me now while I may
be found. Then, at any moment, you know you are
'ready to go.'

I will be in the stairwell of your final moments.

God

Saturday, February 3, 2007

Alfred Clayton (RIO)

Rio's Welcome Sign

" Solar City Tower", built atop the island ofCotonduba
will be the welcome symbol to the 2016 Olympic Games
in Rio de Janeiro.

It will be seen by the game visitors and participants as
they arrive by air or water.

The tower captures solar energy. It will supply energy
for all of the Olympic city, as well as also for part of Rio.
It pumps water from the ocean to create what
appears like a water fall, and this fall stimulates turbines
that produce energy during the night.

It will also hold the Olympic flame.

The Tower possesses an amphitheater, an auditorium, a cafeteria, and boutiques. Elevators lead to various observatories. It also has a retractable platform for the practice of bungee jumping.
At the summit is an observation point to appreciate the scenery of the land and ocean, as well as the water fall.
Solar City Tower will be the point of reference for the 2016 Olympic Games in Rio de Janeiro.