FATIMA

From: M Byrnes Subject: Fw: Fatima- the original one!

Please keep this going.....Her journey begins today

Today begins the Novena of the Apparition of the

Virgin ofFatima : When you receive the email,

say a Hail Mary and also ask for a special favor:

"Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the

fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners,

now and at the hour of our death. Amen (your request)

Please do not break the Novena - send it to 12 people.

The TRUTH will set you FREE.

LOL: LAUGH OUT LOUD 9/21/2011

From: Jose Victoria
Date: 2011/9/24

GANDA BUHOK

STUDENT:    "Sir, kamusta po ang grade ko?"

TEACHER:     "Aba iha, kasing ganda ng buhok mo."

STUDENT:     "Talaga po?  Wow naman!!"

TEACHER:     "Oo..parang bagong rebond...BAGSAK NA BAGSAK!!"

KALAHI NI MICKEY MOUSE

ANAK:   "Tay may daga duon sa kusina!"

TATAY:   "Paalisin mo!!"

ANAK:     "Oy daga! Umalis ka dyan!!"

TATAY:      "Tanga!! Gulatin mo!!"

ANAK:     "Daga...BULAGA!!"

TATAY:   "Tanga! Takutin mo!!"

ANAK:     "Oh daga...aswang ako...whoooohhh"

TATAY:   "Gago!! Bugawin mo!!"

ANAK:     "Boss Daga...P50 lang, batang-bata pa!"

CLEANLINESS AND GADLINESS

BAKLA:   "Hoy! Babae bakit ka naghuhugas sa holy water?"

GIRL:       "May kasalanan ang mga kamay ko...nahawakan ko

ang ari ng BF ko."

BAKLA:    "Ganun?  Tabi dyan...magmumumog ako!!"

ASIAN MARTIAL ARTS

Kung ang China ay may KUNG FU, Ang Japan ay may KARATE.

At sa Korea naman ay may TAEKWONDO, anong matitira para sa Pilipinas?

Tayo ay mayroong,

SAPAKAN, BATUKAN, HAMPASAN, HARUTAN, BANGASAN,

PITIKAN, SIKUHAN, SAMPALAN, BANATAN, SAKSAKAN, SUNTUKAN, SABUNUTAN,

KALMUTAN, TADYAKAN, SIPAAN, TUHURAN, DIBDIBAN, KAGATAN, DURAAN,

BARILAN...at ang pinakamatindi sa lahat....PATAYAN!!!

ATTENDANCE

LOLO:      "Naku apo, magtago ka dyan sa ilalim ng mesa, padating yung teacher mo...di ba nag absent ka?"

APO:         "Naku...ikaw din Lo...magtago kayo sa ilalim ng lamesa."

LOLO:       "At bakit naman ako magtatago?"

APO:          "Kasi sabi ko aabsent ako ngayon dahil namatay ang lolo ko."

HEIGHT OF PASSION

Dalawang unano ang nag good time sa Bocaue.  They are having the time of their lives

at the Beer Garden.  They capped the fun with "compassion" for the night.  Kumuha sila

ng magkatabing kwarto sa isang motel.  Yung isa disappointed dahil hindi siya tigasan...kahit

na anong concentrate ang gawin niya ay wala parin.  Lalong lumaki ang disappointment niya

dahil sa naririnig sa kabilang kuarto na bumibilang......ISA....DALAWA.....TATLO....UMMMMPPP...sa

buong magdamag.

Kinabukasan sa kanilang paguusap.  "Disappointed ako dahil kahit na anong gawin ko...di ako tigasan."

"Eh di mas lalo na ako, NI HINDI AKO MAKASAMPA SA KAMA."

VICE-PRESIDENT PACQUIAO

INTERVIEWER:  "Ano ang plano nyo sa mga homeless?"

PACMAN:     "Marami...kasi may problema."

INTERVIEWER:    "Ano pong problema?"

PACMAN:      "Ang hirap silang hanapin...kasi wala silang address."

cr

--
Antonio L. Buensuceso Jr.

Atinatin lang 'to

From: timbaylen <timbaylen@aol.com>

Date: Sat, Sep 17, 2011 at 6:45 PM


Kaya raw di umasenso ang Pilipinas ay di tayo positive tulad ng U.S.A.

Ang tawag sa kanila AmeriCAN, hindi AmeriCAN'T.
Dapat tayo "FilipiYES", di FilipiNO.
.................

An idea can change your life, but a woman can change you idea....
So, the conclusion: always change your woman to have new ideas!
................

When a woman stops having her periods, we call that MENOPAUSE.
 When a man starts using Viagra, we call that KINAPAUSE!
................

A hotel guest called room service, "I want a breakfast of two eggs burned &
black around the edges, undercooked bacon, weak coffee, watery orange juice,
and cold, hard, unbuttered toast."

The room service clerk asked, "Why in the world would you want a terrible
breakfast like that?"

'I am HOMESICK!" the guest replied.
..............


Pretty Girl: How much for a tatoo of animal just above my knee?

Tatoo Artist: P1,000 for tiger, rabbit and lion. Free if it's a GIRAFFEE!
.............

 Ano sa Hawaii ang umiiyak?

A LUHA!

Ano naman sa Hawaiian ang caesarean?

TAHI TIAN!

Ano naman ang tawag sa bakla?

WAI KIKI!
................


A man is recovering from surgery when the nurse appears and asked him
how he's feeling.

"I'm OK, but I didn't like the four-lettter word the surgeon used
during my surgery."

"What did he say?" asked the nurse.

"Oops!"
..............

 Mrs. Tanoy is so kuripot. When her husband died, he called the
newspaper and inquired about the price of an obituary.

Paper : P500 for 5 words.

Mrs. : Pwede ba 2 words lang, TANOY DEAD?

Paper : Di pwede. 5 words minimum.

Mrs. : O, sige TANOY DEAD. CAMRY FOR SALE .
..............

 Juan : Kung ako sa iyo ma'am, papalitan ninyo grade ko.

Teacher : At bakit?

Juan : Sabi ng tatay ko, pag nag uwi pa ako ng may bagsak, may BUBUGBUGIN siya!
................

 Anak : Itay, ano po ang ibig sabihin ng "climate change"?

Itay : Ha? Tinay, ano raw ang "climate change"?

Tinay: Ang panlalamig mo sa akin ay dahil may pinag-iinitan ka nang
iba. Iyan ang "climate change!"
..............

Stages of Life:
0 - 5 years we experience many SPILLS

6 -16 years we experience many DRILLS

17-25 years we discover many THRILLS

26-40 years we have many BILLS

41-60 years we suffer many ILLS

61-75 years we take many PILLS

76 & above we worry about our WILLS.
..............

INDIAN BOY (asking Big Chief) : Father, why do we have long names,
while white men have short names like TOM, BILL or SAM?

BIG CHIEF: My son, our names represent a symbol in our culture. White
men merely repeats names
from generation to generation. Your sister's name is SMALL ROMANTIC
MOON OVER THE
LAKE coz there was a beautiful moon over the lake when she was born.

Your brother WHITE HORSE OF THE PRAIRIES was born when a white horse
galloped over the prairies. It's easy to understand.

Do you have any question LITTLE BROKEN CONDOM MADE IN CHINA ?
..............

Sa muli. Ciao...

Trillanes files bill seeking up to 80% windfall profit tax on oil firms

Trillanes files bill seeking up to 80% windfall profit tax on oil firms

The TRUTH will set you FREE.